Feeling a little misplaced, i guess is the best way to describe it.
I have so much going for me... And yet i feel like all i do is fail.
[We dwell on the downs so much more than the ups.]

I told mom the truth of what happened, 'then'.
She didn't seem to understand.
She didn't seem to realize that I know.
It was a scary time.
I realized even then that there was something wrong with what i was doing.

I know to most this will make little to no sense.
But maybe, someday, i'll be able to talk about it freely.

But... for those of you who are impacient,
Let's just know that i wasn't the saneist child in the world.
And it all started when i was very little.
(Laughs a Little) I was pretty much insane.

My psych, has disginosed me as Schitzo-Affective.
But there are alot of thing i'm just now getting comfortable talking about.
And most of them, scare me.
But there are a few, that i can just look back on and laugh about.
And, Mr. psych, if you read this any time soon,
I think we need to talk about this.

It's alot of stuff that i've repressed.
Alot of stuff, i don't know what to think about.

And Damn You, Yellow Wallpaper... You made it all come back.
It's all too real in my head right now, I can still see the manifestations of my imagination, standing in front of me, smiling... just like they used too.
I'm scared they'll come back.
I'm scared that part of me wants them too.

Am i really that crazy?
Did i really jump off that bridge, that i can see myself falling from now, again and again?
I know I am... Because if i wasn't i wouldn't be about to cry right now.
Am i really alone, or do i just feel that way?

[The sun is gone, the nights are long... Do you know what it feels like, being alone?]

{Can you help me find a way to carry on again}

And some times, I know I am...
The day i wished them away, was the day i condemed myself to be this way.
"No one can understand you if you're made of pure nonsense."
Feels like i am.

-Aura