Friday, March 13, 2009
I'm not upset

I wish everyone would quit asking how i was.
Yeah, it hurts. [But it's not going to kill me.]
I don't want to end this, just because he was doing something I'd done millions of times before.
When you're drunk, i know you do alot of things that you regret later.
[I guess this was one of them]... But was I?

Bruce.
Did you take it back, because you missed me, regreted it, and really do love me? Or was it just because you felt bad. I don't want to be a fleating memory. But then again I would have never wanted us to end like that. Just because you were drunk...
Just because you were thinking too much... About her.

Bruce.
I know she hurt you. And i know that you would have never done what she said you did. You're not that type of person. You care about the people you care about. I just don't want to be the mistake that makes your life sour... Like I know She is to you.

Bruce.
I just wish you could find some kind of happiness in the time you spent with her, and be able to move on. Weather or not that will happen, no one but you can tell that, If she gives you the words I haev asked her to give, I hope you will be okay one day. Even if i'm not there.

Bruce.
I really wish that you could love me. It kills me to know you hurt like this, and if turn it makes me hurt so much. I know your logic is that if you can't be happy with yourself then how can you make me happy, but you have to believe me; you do. You make me happier than I have been in years. When i went to the doctor, and finally got my test results back, I was able to smile. Because of what you've done for me. You've made me better. I'm no longer 'Clinically Depressed,' no more 'Borderline Depression.' You don't realize how sane you make me.


     I'm trying to convince myself that you are able to love me even. I know you're trying. I know you're going to be there for me... For everyone you care about. But what if we don't make it through this? What happens if we come to an end? Or better yet. What happens if she does want you? I don't think i  can stand losing you to anyone but her.
     If i can stand losing you at all.

But I do wish everyone would stop asking how I am. I'm sad. I'm broken-hearted. And more than anything, I'm scared. I don't know what would happen if i lost him. I can't stand being away from him, when i know he's hurting so much. I worry about what's going to happen if he's alone and... no one can talk to him... no one can save him. I don't care if it's me anymore. I just want him to be happy. I want to be able to make him happy, but i know that that won't always be me; I won't always be able to make him happy, to keep him happy.

But more than anything he know he exists... from her. And I've done all I can.

-Aura

Posted at 08:22 pm by Kidkivan

 

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